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Virginia Poet,
Jimmy Warner's


Internet Poetry Zine, Richmond, VA

challenging, edgy, twisty, turny writing for the should-ought-a-be's


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© 2016



APRIL 2015

National Poetry Month

Another Ink Squirt Poetry Session


 (Interactive research material for people who have never written a poem
 and maybe shouldn't. The links (to be added) will take you to something
 similar that I DID write. More links are being added as NaPoMo progresses.)

Brought to you by Sqwerty Hacks - when
you need to boost a political clam.

Let our guys help your guys with ink squirt recovery.

 Things you or I may or may not write about this year include:

 Biblical News 2015:

    Rubicon also a prelude to lost legions
    Binge watching the far-fetched taking toll on viewers
    Still trying to prove there were Hebrew slaves in Egypt
    More evidence how the Romans screwed up
    More evidence how the US screwed up
    Buried skeletons screaming new evidence
    Proof Macabee promo (book of Daniel) a political clam
    John the Divine was on drugs, suffering cave mold
    Enoch abducted by alien spacemen and spacewomen
    Angels are flight-capable alien astronauts

  This Just In:

    The shutdown made me delusional
    Retirement villages will be helivaced to camps
    Political clams no different than shell fish
    Purines are poison (especially to elderly)
    Given new research, red meat would not pass FDA
    Women's bodies scare some men into hiding.
    Men's bodies scare some women to turn gay
    Lust is fleeting, lust is fleeting
    Fleet is lusting
 Shows we'd like to see:

    Amateur stage fright hour
    Planet of the AARP's
    Do me on your bike
    Global Climate (not just gore-head science anymore)
    Scream obscenities until you pass out
    Nail Gun Carnage
    Chalkboard Nail Chic
    Days of Our Hides

 Scandalous Shows:

    Eye Popping Experience  
    Celebrity tweets take toll in re-election
    Striper rehab building boom
    Meltser Meltdown, please capture that damn flag
    Celebrity undercover surveillance video gone viral
    F-Bombing for porn tube marathong
    Game show - idiot watch
    Orchestra Wives, private-table plotting clutches 

    False future addicts lobby for more docudramas
    Ham sandwich indictments on the rise
    I'm going to make a really ugly piece of modern art
    Vigilantes now exploring dark lore
    According to ancient astronaut theory birds aren't important
    Hybrid earth/alien children are toxic
    Aliens: The Fnu are too predictable to pose a threat
    Orchestra wives are far more dangerous
FAUX is French for FALSE


Winter feasting in the Hinterlands of Daegolon
   Colors of Hell,  season worn like a rose
   From fever come fiery brainstorms
   Gout, the new scourge, helpless agonies
   The Seven Deadly Ingredients
   Lost in Lymphedema Limbo, raising cane
   The gout you get from the gut you got
   Breaking Dad, quartering adult children
   Said he wouldn't steal barnacles off a shipwreck
   The Mess, by P. Wythe Izklozd
   Cultural Ignorance: Deprived and Depraved
   Brown Paper: Keeps it Turn-key Tidy
   Moral Protein for Growth and Development
   The Indomitable Snow Girl 
Fever Brings Out Fiery Brainstorms


    Real Gold - brave new alchemy, thousands $$ per gram 
    New Fabrics from dumpsters
    Share The CO2 Foundation 2015 fashion statement
    Bring back the trench coat from the trenches
    Just air-brush me a new one
    Bubbles we can't live without
    Make me a blend of road kill furs
    Sherpa chic
    It needs more holes
    Give us Belphagor
    Pop-top Mail Armor Garmets

 Experimental Films:

    Interview NOIR
    Disasters gone nordo, AIR MALAISE
    Observation disappearance, conclusion rapture
    Busty lawyer, Court Genius
    Life after Humans, rebuilding the temple III
    Land of My Dorkhood, by M. Bagahotnutz
    Sharing My Neighbors CO2
    Only MY Shelf of Gods
The Zero Degree   

 New National days:

    Share the CO2 day
    Shop All Day Day
    Chalk On A Walk Day
    Share Imagination Day
    Faux Fur Day
    Wise Crack Day
    Swamped World Day
    Bomber Jacket Day
    Photoshop like Du Champs Day
    Sloth Day
    It's not OK to be OK with stuff that's not OK...Day
    Time to call it a day Day

Names for Chat room Alter Egos and Ids

    Sklepy Pharmer
    Wen N rome
    Gene Ohm
    Lusty Nail
Designer Flesh Tank
    Im Bagahotnutz
    Slide Ruler
    Rusty Naylor
    Krell Momster
    Sho Bits     
    It's just a chat room, Jim

 Self Help Books:

   Hanging hieroglyphs for Festive Occasions
   How to take enough St. John's Wort to Vanquish Demons
   Exorcisms for Dolts, Cults and Covens
   Understanding the Vernacular of the Peasantry
   Punished for Daydreams, Psychogenic Heartbreak
   Museums of Psychotic Artifacts from Broken Dreams 
   Unblurred by Tears
   Bring me the Head of the Drafting Dept.
   Blues and Blon'ts, Blurts That Blidn't
   Creative Boredom
   How to Build a Shelf of Gods
   Searching Yourself for New Metaphors
   Escaping Discontent and Psycho Numbness
   Happiness is a Flash Drive Manual
   Overcoming The Scary Geometry of Anatomy
   Ignoring the Sight of Blood Poisoning
   Conquer Binge-watching Wet Work Addiction
   Conquer Binge-watching MARVEL Addiction

   New Slogans:
   My name is _______ and I approve this thought
   Best info comes from boss's waste basket
   Everybody's favorite nobody
   Young life is a joke, elderly life, different joke
   The Gout you Get for the Gut you Got
   Time Flies If You're Flying
   Share your bad art
Brown Paper Roll-Out

 Names For Cruise Ships:

    The Cuddy Run
    The Limey Comfort
    The Cruise to No End
    Esteem Aship For Joo
    The Takata and Feud
    The Barfaroma Cabina
    The Admiral Broadside
    The Blanche Knuckle
    The Barc Royale
    HMS Sea Needle
    Goddess of the Sea Pork
    The Churning Banquet
    The Naked Albatross
    The Side Scan Banana
    The Cabana Cabanyo
    This End Up Cruises
    The Capt. Sizemore
    The Maroon Bikini
    The Sloe Boat to Gin Beach
    The Canvas Luft Boat
    The Foundering Dutchmen
    The Brink of the Drink
    The Bermuda Reef
    The Steel Barnicle
     Neptune's Lunch
 Social Documentaries:
   Space Ship of Drools and Dolts Addicted to Vid Porn
   Expensive Hobby, late night decibels
   Inter Generational Sci-Fi Trends for Dolts 
   Night of the Walking Randy
   Night of the Social Documentaries
   Quartering Adult Children
   Grit and Gurgle, disposal diagnostic 
   Wallpapering with brown wrapping paper
   Dump diving with improve you personal art collection   
   Wars of the World's Weekends
  Eclectic Interest - Articles on:
  Winning an Ostra
  Haute Grimoire  
  Upscale Fishing
  White Horse Prophecy
  Collecting Large Shiny Objects
  The Large Shiny Object Collector
  Analyzing Ship Gurgle
  Grit and Grace, Tummy Churn Diagnostics
  A Mid-season Elevenly Night's News
  Maintaining Pumpkin-Faced Wonder
  Semi Conductor Lost Mid Concert
  Small Hell

    things to do with grape fruit,  the great fruit           
  Next Year's Resolution of Forces

  Museum of Odd Perspectives  
  Pucker Faced Nordics from Space
  Lizard of Oz Reptoid Revelation
  Queen Ozma's Green Apple Tarts and Company
  Apple Cam Orange Cam
  Stress Quest, Hot Fantasies


Align Your Natural Energies

  Lord of the Rind 

a must read

©Jimmy Warner Design, 2016







with Jazz



Faux Future


1 thru 28

See photos of
Shockoe Espresso

poetry reading
2000 - 2008